Reviews Appendix A: How NOT to write a restaurant review

Appendix description or content:

 

The following restaurant review was published in the 1980s at a student newspaper in Palo Alto.  We’ve changed the name of the school to X High School to avoid dragging it through the mud in as we distribute this curriculum nationally. The review’s publication led to an adviser change and the suspension of the newspaper from printing for a full year.  (Those are two things that might not happen under application of current press law in California, but you still wouldn’t want to be on the staff that let this stinker slip by.) 

 

Circle all of the elements in this review that are offensive, unprofessional or perhaps even illegal, and prepare to explain to the class how you would have gone about doing things differently and why.

 

 

Boycott Togo’s or Beware

  

We would like to report a disgraceful story, one of great importance to the student body at X High School.

It was an unusually bright and sunny December afternoon, and we were all happily awaiting the ring of the lunch bell.

When lunch finally began, we quickly drove away from X, arguing about where to eat.

Finally, ignoring our memories of nausea, we reluctantly went to the Togo’s on El Camino Way.

We forced ourselves to enter with our one and only comforting thought being that the health department had not yet shut Togo’s down.

The first thing we notices as we walked in were the glazed look on all the employees’ faces.

We also noticed a smell reminiscent of a Grateful Dead bazaar emanating from the back room.

To pass time while we waited in line, we counted health code violations.

By the time we had gotten up to about fifteen, we finally were served.

As we approached the counter, one of the employees (as if on an LSD trip) shouted, “Dere’s too many a’ you guys crowdin’ round in here.   Dis ain’t yer school

  

cafeteria, ya know.”

As he spoke, he wiped brown gelatinous goo off his hands and onto his pants, he then returned his sandwich making.

Disgusted, revolted, and offended, we all gave him the one finger solute and departed.

Having wasted half of our lunch hour, we only had enough time to drive through Jack in the Box.

Compared to Togo’s, we had a nice meal, at a reasonable price, with friendly service, despite the language barrier.

The employees of Togo’s are guilty of making derogatory comments about X High School and its student body (even though they speak only semi-coherently!)

If you want to spend your lunch our being yelled at, becoming physically ill from your over-priced sandwich, then Togo’s is the place for you.

If, however, you don’t like to be treated as a sub-human, wipe foul smelling green slime off the table as you sit down to eat, or violently vomit as you drive back to X, then we suggest you boycott Togo’s.

You might even add a few years to your life expectancy.

  

 


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